Titus 2 vs. Proverbs 31

Recently I listened to an amazing sermon given by Marc Driscoll, the pastor from Mars Hill Church. The sermon was on Song of Songs, one of my favorite books of the Bible detailing the intimate love between a husband and wife. At the end of the sermon, Marc took questions from the audience. One of the questions went something like this:

"How do you feel about stay at home Dads and having the Mom work to support the family?"

This question really struck my interest (not so much the stay at home Dad part, but more the working Mom part).

The answer given by both Marc and his wife was that Biblically speaking the man is to support his family, but that the wife (once turned into a mother) should stay at home with their children to do her Biblical job in raising Godly children. There was some reference to 2nd Timothy (no chapter or verse given), and also the "Titus 2" woman.

Needless to say that this broke my heart.
For one - That is THE desire of our souls, to let me stay at home with Fiona and raise umpteen children in God's image.
Secondly - there was some mention that a husband who could not do this for his family might as well not be a Christian at all.

I was thoroughly enraged and my heart was pounding. Will has done E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in his ability to provide for our family. And we have prayed and prayed that a job would turn up that would give him the income needed to allow me to be with Fiona. It just killed me to think that someone would look at us and say - "Well, they must not be very strong Christians for him to allow Jennifer to work. He's obviously not a good provider or a Godly man." (not that anyone has said this, but its what I feel that some people think of us)

So I contacted my best friend Catherine who calmed my heart when she said "Yeah, but what about the Proverbs 31 woman?" --- Oh yeah.

I immediately looked up both the Titus 2 woman and the Proverbs 31 woman and did a little comparison of them.

Titus 2: 3-5 "Right Teachings"
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Proverbs 31: 10-31 "The Wife of Noble Character"
10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm[c] clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

The Titus 2 woman is directed to be a few things:
v.3 - respectful & sober
v.4 - teacher, mother, wife
v.5 - wise, pure, caretaker, honoring

The Proverbs 31 woman is directed to do a few more things:
v.11 - trustworthy
v.12 - good, not harmful
v.13 - industrial
v.14 - cooks
v.15 - organized
v.16 - productive
v.17 - energetic, strong, hard worker
v.18 - profitable
v.19 - skillful, busy
v.20 - charitable
v.21 - provider, caretaker
v.22 - well put together
v.24 - merchant
v.25 - joyful
v.26 - wise, teacher
v.27 - keen
v.28 - loved

Obviously the lives of both women are centered around God, and her family. So which is it? Which one are we supposed to be? Stay at home mom (Titus 2) or working mom (Proverbs 31)?

I don't know.

What I do know, is they both promote loving, thoughtful Christian women. So instead of focusing my energy on how I should live my life, I should instead look at who I am, and how I can exhibit the Biblical characteristics of both women.

For now, I am continuing to work and am still praying for my chance to be the Titus 2 mama. Our blessing for the week - Will got a new job with Larry's Beans. And although it won't make enough to allow me to stay home, it is something to be proud of and to work at with dilligence. Praise be to God!