Anxiety

Today at church Pastor Tyler talked about handing over your daily thoughts to God. This is something that I've struggled with for years. Although I may seem calm and laid back on the outside my mind is a warzone panicked with anxiety and fear.

When things are too much to handle people always talk about "Give it over to God." I've had issues with that in the past. Sometimes I feel like God places things in our lives that seem over our head to help us mature spiritually. Yet at other times we truely do need to let things be handled by God and not try to manage them ourselves. Its a tough call.

So today after church I began to try and give my thought process over to God. This is incredibly hard. How often does your mind wander? Mine wanders a lot, which makes keeping a streamlined conversation with God very difficult. For example - I was trying to give my anxiety about being alone over to God when I then shifted to tomorrow night's community group which then shifted to laundry and then to anxiety about something happening to Fiona. This all took about 1 minute, and it drives me crazy.

I truely feel the need to change the way I communicate with God. Instead of brief prayers, I feel like I need to open up my entire mind to him to facilitate an ongoing communicative relationship. Thats what its all about anyways right? Our relationship with the one true God.

I know He can heal all, no matter how great or small. So I have complete faith that He can heal the ways of my mind and take away my anxiety. Or He may choose to leave it knowing that my anxiety can be used for good, like protecting my family. Whatever He does, I pray that I know and understand that it is His workings.

In Ecclesiastes 2 Solomon wrote "22 So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? 23 Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless." Amen.

Suffering

We all have experienced suffering in our lives. We cannot judge another's suffering based on our own experiences. Everyone's experiences are individual and although we may have had similar things happen to us, each situation is unique. No two people process the same experience the same way.

When I think of suffering I think of Job. I also think of all of the things that have happened in my lifetime that have caused me pain. On the whole - I would say that Job did a much better job in his endurance than I.

Today I was reading Job 36 and praying for a friend of mine who is in pain. This happened to catch my eye...

"He rescues those who sufer. For He gets their attention through adversity."

How many times have we turned to God when things were perfect in our lives? How much faster do we turn to Him when things are bad?

I truely believe that God intends to cause us no harm. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I also believe that God gave us free will and that sometimes our choices can cause us to suffer. But nothing is lost on God - He uses every opportunity to reach out to His children. Some of us though do not take His hand until we can no longer hold up our own. For you - I pray this prayer.

Lord God, Father in Heaven, you are the one true Holy God. I pray for those who are suffering. I ask your healing and your mercy be upon us. For we know not what we do. I pray that you would cast the deamons from our souls and that you would fill us with the strongest of your angels. Lord you do not harm us but allow us to fall from our own will. I pray that we would reach up and take hold of your gracious hand and allow you to pull us from our own ashes. Lord God be with those who we have hurt on the way and give them peace. I ask your blessings be among the sufferers. Give us endurance and a light to look towards. Grant us forgiveness and justice. For you are the one who carrys us when we cannot walk. It is always your footprints when we think we are alone. Hold us Lord. Amen.