Anxiety

Today at church Pastor Tyler talked about handing over your daily thoughts to God. This is something that I've struggled with for years. Although I may seem calm and laid back on the outside my mind is a warzone panicked with anxiety and fear.

When things are too much to handle people always talk about "Give it over to God." I've had issues with that in the past. Sometimes I feel like God places things in our lives that seem over our head to help us mature spiritually. Yet at other times we truely do need to let things be handled by God and not try to manage them ourselves. Its a tough call.

So today after church I began to try and give my thought process over to God. This is incredibly hard. How often does your mind wander? Mine wanders a lot, which makes keeping a streamlined conversation with God very difficult. For example - I was trying to give my anxiety about being alone over to God when I then shifted to tomorrow night's community group which then shifted to laundry and then to anxiety about something happening to Fiona. This all took about 1 minute, and it drives me crazy.

I truely feel the need to change the way I communicate with God. Instead of brief prayers, I feel like I need to open up my entire mind to him to facilitate an ongoing communicative relationship. Thats what its all about anyways right? Our relationship with the one true God.

I know He can heal all, no matter how great or small. So I have complete faith that He can heal the ways of my mind and take away my anxiety. Or He may choose to leave it knowing that my anxiety can be used for good, like protecting my family. Whatever He does, I pray that I know and understand that it is His workings.

In Ecclesiastes 2 Solomon wrote "22 So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? 23 Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless." Amen.