Today at church Pastor Tyler talked about handing over your daily thoughts to God. This is something that I've struggled with for years. Although I may seem calm and laid back on the outside my mind is a warzone panicked with anxiety and fear.
When things are too much to handle people always talk about "Give it over to God." I've had issues with that in the past. Sometimes I feel like God places things in our lives that seem over our head to help us mature spiritually. Yet at other times we truely do need to let things be handled by God and not try to manage them ourselves. Its a tough call.
So today after church I began to try and give my thought process over to God. This is incredibly hard. How often does your mind wander? Mine wanders a lot, which makes keeping a streamlined conversation with God very difficult. For example - I was trying to give my anxiety about being alone over to God when I then shifted to tomorrow night's community group which then shifted to laundry and then to anxiety about something happening to Fiona. This all took about 1 minute, and it drives me crazy.
I truely feel the need to change the way I communicate with God. Instead of brief prayers, I feel like I need to open up my entire mind to him to facilitate an ongoing communicative relationship. Thats what its all about anyways right? Our relationship with the one true God.
I know He can heal all, no matter how great or small. So I have complete faith that He can heal the ways of my mind and take away my anxiety. Or He may choose to leave it knowing that my anxiety can be used for good, like protecting my family. Whatever He does, I pray that I know and understand that it is His workings.
In Ecclesiastes 2 Solomon wrote "22 So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? 23 Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless." Amen.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Suffering
We all have experienced suffering in our lives. We cannot judge another's suffering based on our own experiences. Everyone's experiences are individual and although we may have had similar things happen to us, each situation is unique. No two people process the same experience the same way.
When I think of suffering I think of Job. I also think of all of the things that have happened in my lifetime that have caused me pain. On the whole - I would say that Job did a much better job in his endurance than I.
Today I was reading Job 36 and praying for a friend of mine who is in pain. This happened to catch my eye...
"He rescues those who sufer. For He gets their attention through adversity."
How many times have we turned to God when things were perfect in our lives? How much faster do we turn to Him when things are bad?
I truely believe that God intends to cause us no harm. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I also believe that God gave us free will and that sometimes our choices can cause us to suffer. But nothing is lost on God - He uses every opportunity to reach out to His children. Some of us though do not take His hand until we can no longer hold up our own. For you - I pray this prayer.
Lord God, Father in Heaven, you are the one true Holy God. I pray for those who are suffering. I ask your healing and your mercy be upon us. For we know not what we do. I pray that you would cast the deamons from our souls and that you would fill us with the strongest of your angels. Lord you do not harm us but allow us to fall from our own will. I pray that we would reach up and take hold of your gracious hand and allow you to pull us from our own ashes. Lord God be with those who we have hurt on the way and give them peace. I ask your blessings be among the sufferers. Give us endurance and a light to look towards. Grant us forgiveness and justice. For you are the one who carrys us when we cannot walk. It is always your footprints when we think we are alone. Hold us Lord. Amen.
When I think of suffering I think of Job. I also think of all of the things that have happened in my lifetime that have caused me pain. On the whole - I would say that Job did a much better job in his endurance than I.
Today I was reading Job 36 and praying for a friend of mine who is in pain. This happened to catch my eye...
"He rescues those who sufer. For He gets their attention through adversity."
How many times have we turned to God when things were perfect in our lives? How much faster do we turn to Him when things are bad?
I truely believe that God intends to cause us no harm. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I also believe that God gave us free will and that sometimes our choices can cause us to suffer. But nothing is lost on God - He uses every opportunity to reach out to His children. Some of us though do not take His hand until we can no longer hold up our own. For you - I pray this prayer.
Lord God, Father in Heaven, you are the one true Holy God. I pray for those who are suffering. I ask your healing and your mercy be upon us. For we know not what we do. I pray that you would cast the deamons from our souls and that you would fill us with the strongest of your angels. Lord you do not harm us but allow us to fall from our own will. I pray that we would reach up and take hold of your gracious hand and allow you to pull us from our own ashes. Lord God be with those who we have hurt on the way and give them peace. I ask your blessings be among the sufferers. Give us endurance and a light to look towards. Grant us forgiveness and justice. For you are the one who carrys us when we cannot walk. It is always your footprints when we think we are alone. Hold us Lord. Amen.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Titus 2 vs. Proverbs 31
Recently I listened to an amazing sermon given by Marc Driscoll, the pastor from Mars Hill Church. The sermon was on Song of Songs, one of my favorite books of the Bible detailing the intimate love between a husband and wife. At the end of the sermon, Marc took questions from the audience. One of the questions went something like this:
"How do you feel about stay at home Dads and having the Mom work to support the family?"
This question really struck my interest (not so much the stay at home Dad part, but more the working Mom part).
The answer given by both Marc and his wife was that Biblically speaking the man is to support his family, but that the wife (once turned into a mother) should stay at home with their children to do her Biblical job in raising Godly children. There was some reference to 2nd Timothy (no chapter or verse given), and also the "Titus 2" woman.
Needless to say that this broke my heart.
For one - That is THE desire of our souls, to let me stay at home with Fiona and raise umpteen children in God's image.
Secondly - there was some mention that a husband who could not do this for his family might as well not be a Christian at all.
I was thoroughly enraged and my heart was pounding. Will has done E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in his ability to provide for our family. And we have prayed and prayed that a job would turn up that would give him the income needed to allow me to be with Fiona. It just killed me to think that someone would look at us and say - "Well, they must not be very strong Christians for him to allow Jennifer to work. He's obviously not a good provider or a Godly man." (not that anyone has said this, but its what I feel that some people think of us)
So I contacted my best friend Catherine who calmed my heart when she said "Yeah, but what about the Proverbs 31 woman?" --- Oh yeah.
I immediately looked up both the Titus 2 woman and the Proverbs 31 woman and did a little comparison of them.
Titus 2: 3-5 "Right Teachings"
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
Proverbs 31: 10-31 "The Wife of Noble Character"
10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm[c] clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
The Titus 2 woman is directed to be a few things:
v.3 - respectful & sober
v.4 - teacher, mother, wife
v.5 - wise, pure, caretaker, honoring
The Proverbs 31 woman is directed to do a few more things:
v.11 - trustworthy
v.12 - good, not harmful
v.13 - industrial
v.14 - cooks
v.15 - organized
v.16 - productive
v.17 - energetic, strong, hard worker
v.18 - profitable
v.19 - skillful, busy
v.20 - charitable
v.21 - provider, caretaker
v.22 - well put together
v.24 - merchant
v.25 - joyful
v.26 - wise, teacher
v.27 - keen
v.28 - loved
Obviously the lives of both women are centered around God, and her family. So which is it? Which one are we supposed to be? Stay at home mom (Titus 2) or working mom (Proverbs 31)?
I don't know.
What I do know, is they both promote loving, thoughtful Christian women. So instead of focusing my energy on how I should live my life, I should instead look at who I am, and how I can exhibit the Biblical characteristics of both women.
For now, I am continuing to work and am still praying for my chance to be the Titus 2 mama. Our blessing for the week - Will got a new job with Larry's Beans. And although it won't make enough to allow me to stay home, it is something to be proud of and to work at with dilligence. Praise be to God!
"How do you feel about stay at home Dads and having the Mom work to support the family?"
This question really struck my interest (not so much the stay at home Dad part, but more the working Mom part).
The answer given by both Marc and his wife was that Biblically speaking the man is to support his family, but that the wife (once turned into a mother) should stay at home with their children to do her Biblical job in raising Godly children. There was some reference to 2nd Timothy (no chapter or verse given), and also the "Titus 2" woman.
Needless to say that this broke my heart.
For one - That is THE desire of our souls, to let me stay at home with Fiona and raise umpteen children in God's image.
Secondly - there was some mention that a husband who could not do this for his family might as well not be a Christian at all.
I was thoroughly enraged and my heart was pounding. Will has done E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in his ability to provide for our family. And we have prayed and prayed that a job would turn up that would give him the income needed to allow me to be with Fiona. It just killed me to think that someone would look at us and say - "Well, they must not be very strong Christians for him to allow Jennifer to work. He's obviously not a good provider or a Godly man." (not that anyone has said this, but its what I feel that some people think of us)
So I contacted my best friend Catherine who calmed my heart when she said "Yeah, but what about the Proverbs 31 woman?" --- Oh yeah.
I immediately looked up both the Titus 2 woman and the Proverbs 31 woman and did a little comparison of them.
Titus 2: 3-5 "Right Teachings"
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
Proverbs 31: 10-31 "The Wife of Noble Character"
10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm[c] clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
The Titus 2 woman is directed to be a few things:
v.3 - respectful & sober
v.4 - teacher, mother, wife
v.5 - wise, pure, caretaker, honoring
The Proverbs 31 woman is directed to do a few more things:
v.11 - trustworthy
v.12 - good, not harmful
v.13 - industrial
v.14 - cooks
v.15 - organized
v.16 - productive
v.17 - energetic, strong, hard worker
v.18 - profitable
v.19 - skillful, busy
v.20 - charitable
v.21 - provider, caretaker
v.22 - well put together
v.24 - merchant
v.25 - joyful
v.26 - wise, teacher
v.27 - keen
v.28 - loved
Obviously the lives of both women are centered around God, and her family. So which is it? Which one are we supposed to be? Stay at home mom (Titus 2) or working mom (Proverbs 31)?
I don't know.
What I do know, is they both promote loving, thoughtful Christian women. So instead of focusing my energy on how I should live my life, I should instead look at who I am, and how I can exhibit the Biblical characteristics of both women.
For now, I am continuing to work and am still praying for my chance to be the Titus 2 mama. Our blessing for the week - Will got a new job with Larry's Beans. And although it won't make enough to allow me to stay home, it is something to be proud of and to work at with dilligence. Praise be to God!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Hello World,
Hello World,
I've decided to start this blog to post about my personal spiritual journey and the complexities of life in general. My initial thought was to keep this blog anonymous, but I feel that the more transparent I am, the more likely I am going to be held accountable for my thoughts and actions.
By the way, if you didn't already know, accountability is a good thing. I feel that it should be practiced by all people who are on a spiritual journey, even non-believers who are seeking something unknown. I fully expect that you all help me with this - feel free to post opposing or encouraging comments as you feel is necessary.
Onto the first matter of business.
So you know where I stand - I am a Christian (at least I consider myself to be one). I completely believe in the Bible and that belief in Jesus as the one true Savior is the only way to get to Heaven. I also believe that we as humans have wrecked Christianity by trying to enforce our man-made rules in addition to or in place of the rules presented by God in the Bible. In my eyes this has created a significant portion of society which is completely against Christians. We are all completely broken...even me. If you want to have a debate on the Bible or any Biblical principles, bring it on. I don't claim to know or understand everything, but I am certainly willing to look for answers to your questions or concerns.
There are some things that I struggle with on a daily basis, and I hope that you will pray for me on.
1. Genesis 3:16 - The curse of women.
"Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.""
- Pray for freedom from the desire to control my husband
- Pray for safe pregnancies and birth
2. Ephesians 5:21-33 - Spirit guided marriage.
"Submit to one another out of reverance to Christ. Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church. Christ is the savior of his body, the Church. As the Church submits to Christ, so should wives submit to their husband in everything..."
- Pray that I will submit to Will as the Spiritual head of the household.
- Pray that Will will lead me and challenge me Spiritually.
3. 1st Timothy 6:17-18 - Money.
"Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in GOd, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good."
- Pray that I will trust God to provide for us. Pray for me to stop worrying about finances.
- Pray that when we do have money that we will be good stewards with what He has given us, and that we will use it for good and not for ourselves.
4. Ephesians 6:4 - Parenting.
"Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord."
- Pray that I do not discipline out of frustration and anger, but instead out of love.
- Pray that I show my children Christ's love through patience and understanding where they're at and meet them on that level.
I would also like to offer that I will pray for you in your struggles as well. You don't have to specifically mention them (unless you feel compelled to do so). But I would love to pray for you and your life.
Until next time, my God watch over you and yours. Peace - Jennifer
I've decided to start this blog to post about my personal spiritual journey and the complexities of life in general. My initial thought was to keep this blog anonymous, but I feel that the more transparent I am, the more likely I am going to be held accountable for my thoughts and actions.
By the way, if you didn't already know, accountability is a good thing. I feel that it should be practiced by all people who are on a spiritual journey, even non-believers who are seeking something unknown. I fully expect that you all help me with this - feel free to post opposing or encouraging comments as you feel is necessary.
Onto the first matter of business.
So you know where I stand - I am a Christian (at least I consider myself to be one). I completely believe in the Bible and that belief in Jesus as the one true Savior is the only way to get to Heaven. I also believe that we as humans have wrecked Christianity by trying to enforce our man-made rules in addition to or in place of the rules presented by God in the Bible. In my eyes this has created a significant portion of society which is completely against Christians. We are all completely broken...even me. If you want to have a debate on the Bible or any Biblical principles, bring it on. I don't claim to know or understand everything, but I am certainly willing to look for answers to your questions or concerns.
There are some things that I struggle with on a daily basis, and I hope that you will pray for me on.
1. Genesis 3:16 - The curse of women.
"Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.""
- Pray for freedom from the desire to control my husband
- Pray for safe pregnancies and birth
2. Ephesians 5:21-33 - Spirit guided marriage.
"Submit to one another out of reverance to Christ. Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the Church. Christ is the savior of his body, the Church. As the Church submits to Christ, so should wives submit to their husband in everything..."
- Pray that I will submit to Will as the Spiritual head of the household.
- Pray that Will will lead me and challenge me Spiritually.
3. 1st Timothy 6:17-18 - Money.
"Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in GOd, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. Tell them to use their money to do good."
- Pray that I will trust God to provide for us. Pray for me to stop worrying about finances.
- Pray that when we do have money that we will be good stewards with what He has given us, and that we will use it for good and not for ourselves.
4. Ephesians 6:4 - Parenting.
"Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord."
- Pray that I do not discipline out of frustration and anger, but instead out of love.
- Pray that I show my children Christ's love through patience and understanding where they're at and meet them on that level.
I would also like to offer that I will pray for you in your struggles as well. You don't have to specifically mention them (unless you feel compelled to do so). But I would love to pray for you and your life.
Until next time, my God watch over you and yours. Peace - Jennifer
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